There once was a movie I could not hear enough about each day for months while browsing the Internet. It was summed up as one of the best breakup movies ever made and people considered it a masterpiece. Being the open-minded person I am and a sucker for engaging stories, I could not wait to watch this movie. A few months after its release I finally got a chance to see it and ultimately ended up disappointed. So much, that it made me question when it’s okay to rape someone.
How someone got raped
For the purpose of this article and based on the fact that some people may want to see the movie themselves, I will avoid mentioning the name of it as well as intricate details. What I will mention, nonetheless, is that the movie is essentially about a young couple, experiencing a strained relationship. The boyfriend is distant and is also not able to treat with his girlfriend’s emotional needs; her needs are understandably fueled by some serious trauma she experienced when younger.
The couple ends up taking a trip together with the hope of saving their relationship; what they discover in the end is something I hope no couple will literally experience in a lifetime. By the end of the movie, the boyfriend is innocently raped before he is killed. And the girlfriend lives happily ever after because of his demise … the end.
Was it really rape?
The first thing many people would consider upon hearing the latter is: well, maybe the boyfriend deserved what he got. And that was the hardest part for me to once again swallow, Because I’ve become sick of people immediately casting judgment on victims before knowing or understanding the full story.
So here is some more context to the film: Boyfriend sometimes thought he wanted out of the relationship and was consistently unable to meet his girlfriend at her points of need. Does this make it any better? As callous as the boyfriend may have been in that regard, it was not any reason for him to have been raped … and then worse, killed. Some viewers would argue that it was not rape. But last I checked rape was forcing someone to have sexual intercourse against their will.
Justifying the act
Surely it was just a movie and both men and women have been subjected to much worse in other films. But this is not the point. In fact, I had little problem with the movie itself; it simply sought to tell a story and it did that slowly but well. Simultaneously and successfully portraying the end of a relationship in the most unapologetic manner is as real as it gets.
But what I had a real problem with was seeing such a movie in these times being highly praised. Praised as though its message was something revolutionary for viewers to meditate over. And this was all because of what ends up happening to a boyfriend who is deemed not man enough. Why? Because he could not support the girlfriend he may have once loved.
Did he deserve it?
To some extent the movie is to “blame” for people’s hasty reactions because it really does a good job masking what really happens before its audiences’ eyes. Some parts of the movie are so well done that they can easily get people to sit and watch one of the most disheartening scenes they may ever witness in their lives and rejoice about it. My biggest disappointment came upon hearing the many reports of people sitting in cinemas and cackling while the man was being raped. Might it have been as funny if anyone else but a man had been in the same predicament?
Even if my reaction to what happens in the movie is slightly exaggerated, it still does not change the fact that it seems okay to so many people for a man to be raped and killed (whether literally or metaphorically) because he’s not fulfilling his woman’s needs in the name of love. And yet, we wonder why so many relationships seem to be so meaningless nowadays. To “feel okay” over someone else’s brutal degradation and demise is quite frankly a new level of sick, no matter the reason. And this is even more so when the person honestly did not deserve it.
But hey, why think so much about it? Let’s all just forget that rape happens to men in reality. Let’s just keep in mind that it’s the 21st century. It was just a movie after all so don’t get your panties in a bunch.
A society that accepts rape
At least the guy should be happy that he was raped by a group of feisty women and not by a gang of rugged men. He should be happy and proud of himself and consider that he was super lucky; a real man would have been. Never mind that he was murdered afterwards. At least the woman finally got the peace and happiness she deserved. Now let’s move on and just wait for the next form of entertainment that goes viral; it will give everyone something new and interesting to talk about.
And if we’re lucky, maybe next time we’ll get to see a “bigger and better” movie. One where a group of 6 year old boys and girls are gang raped. And the scene will be justified because the children did not do their homework. Maybe then it would finally be universally accepted that it’s okay to rape someone based on what we think others deserve. My only hope is that I’m no longer alive by then.
